Day: March 16, 2019

FASTER PUSSYCAT! KILL! KILL!

by Adam M. Wilcox

This is an exploitation film from 1965. For those who don’t know exploitation films, there are several really great documentaries that I will recommend at another time. Most of these movies exist slightly outside of the Hollywood machine. They often had low budgets, little known actors, and were produced to be shown in drive ins, or cheaper matinees.

Why do i like THIS particular film so much? With a name like “Faster Pussy Cat! Kill! Kill!” I was expecting to laugh pretty bad. I mean it sounds like an Ed Wood movie. Surprisingly, I got really hooked by the dialogue and the plot of the movie, because it reminds me very much of a Quentin Tarantino movie. And that is because Quentin Tarantino loves exploitation movies, and made his career by merging this style with Hollywood, and casting A list actors in them, and making a shit load of money. Anyways.

The story revolves around 3 go go dancers, who like cheap thrills and racing fancy cars out in the California salt flats. These girls are wild, rough, and give absolutely no fucks. When a man is killed during a post race fight, the 3 girl gang kidnaps his girlfriend and tosses her in the back seat. After some dialogue with a particularly chatty gas station attendant, the trio winds up at a house inhabited by an old crippled man, and his dim witted son. Apparently the rumor is that the old man got paralyzed in a locomotive accident, sued the railroad, and is sitting on a hidden fortune. Varla, and her cronies would love to get there hands on the sweet sweet cash. The rest is a tense thriller with a very action packed climactic ending.

I went into this expecting giggles, and got hooked into the story, and dialogue. These girls might not be Hollywood actors, but they are definitely committed to these roles. This movie is considered smut by 1965 standards, but this is the same year that movies like Cat Ballou, Doctor Zhivago, For A Few Dollars More, and The Sound of Music came out. Also if your expecting gratuitous nudity, you will be disappointed, there is little if all, but it IS violent. I think I get where Tarantino is coming from, this movie is brilliant and so much better than most of the crap floating around in the cinemas now. I can see why this has a cult following. I found it very entertaining from start to finish. I am giving this movie a full recommendation, and a full 5 out of 5 cheese curds.

ALIEN COVENANT

by Arnór Hermannsson Wikström

Let’s talk about Alien: Covenant. 
Ridley Scott wanted to make another non-Alien Alien movie, but instead made a movie that’s an Alien movie for a little bit. 
Ridley knows that fans watch trailers and promotional materials, but seems to forget that you shouldn’t have to before watching a film, because the film should be able to stand on its own. 
One of the scenes that made the original Alien film so great was the “last supper” scene, where all the characters are properly introduced. 
The body count in Alien is not very high, but you feel every death, because you know and care for the characters. 
A similar scene was shot for Covenant, but only used in promotion. So you have to watch the trailers to fully enjoy the film. 
This is similar to how Prometheus was made, with brilliant scenes shot for promotion, but omitted from the film. 
One such scene stars Guy Pearce, looking like his regular self, and you had to have seen that trailer to understand why Guy Pearce shows up in Prometheus in heavy old guy makeup, instead of an actual old actor. 
Covenant is a better film than Prometheus, in that it’s more streamlined and doesn’t suffer from Damon Lindelof’s randomization syndrome, making it a sleeker film. 
But at the same time, it feels lackluster compared to Prometheus, and it doesn’t really deliver an actual Alien film until the third act, and even then it feels like you’re just watching a passable fan made short. 
There are so many great things going on in this film, but at the same time there’s too much of everything. 
Ridley Scott has delved too deep into the Alien Mythos, and seems determined to void the franchise of any mystery, which kind of shows that he has no idea what made the original great. 
All things considered, I still think it’s an improvement after Prometheus. I enjoy the memory of Alien: Covenant more than I enjoyed actually watching it. Unlike Prometheus, a film I’d rather forget. 
I can’t wait for Scott to finish his behemoth Alien project so that the franchise can be handed over to a younger more visionary director. 
One of the things that makes the original Quadrology so fun to watch is all the different takes, and Scott has already gotten away with too many Alien movies.

Though, to be fair, one of his Alien movies is arguably the best one.

MEGA SHARK VERSUS GIANT OCTOPUS

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by Adam M. Wilcox

This is one of the ones that started it all for me. A modern classic in cheesy goodness. Deborah (not Debbie for a long time now) Gibson plays a scientist piloting a small sub who discovers a giant prehistoric shark and octopus who seem to be locked in combat frozen within a giant glacier. When the U.S. Government accidentally thaws out the two behemoth they go on a world wide rampage of destruction, however the government in a last ditch effort contract Gibson, and some other scientists to track down the creatures before they destroy everything else. What makes this movie work so well, is what Asylum does best. This film knows it’s a cheesy made for TV monster movie, and has as much fun with it as possible. From intentionally bad dialogue, to batshit outrageous scenes that involve sharks breaching jets, ships, bridges, octopus attacks on oil rigs…and subs. It’s bad CGI, but done mostly in the dark water, so it’s forgivable as much as it is laughable, as one can expect from negative budget 2009. This was shown on Syfy recently as part of a campaign to unleash another turd titled “Sharknado: The 4th”. If you missed out, you owe it to yourself to watch this one. It’s just so damn fun. Watch the trailer below to see what I am talking about! 5 out of 5 cheese curds. No really… it’s so bad it’s amazing! It’s one of my favorites!